I've been playing around with a new background for my website while talking to my Pookie. We discussed how I felt about my "friends" and it makes me wonder if I deserve to be treated this way. I'm sure that I did not ask my "friends" for anything. I feel like every promise to change was an empty promise. Jef told me to just take off for a week and not tell anyone, and when I come back then they will miss me. Why would it take me leaving and not telling them where I'm going for them to miss me. I dont see these people all that often, and when we do see each other... they treat me no different from the day I told him how I felt. Sometimes I feel that whatever I say to them, just goes in one ear and out the other. I just don't want that title the gave me, I don't want it to be all a lie. I;ve been working too hard to try to bring myself up, but it just doesnt seem to be working. I can't feel like this anymore because its not good for me. I just want to go away and never come back. I want to be forgotten, I want to start all over. I just want to disappear, so I can find out who I am and what I'm worth..

Whats Playing:
Hoobastank - Running Away

i dont want you to be by my side
and tell me that everythings all right
I just wanted you to tell me the truth
you know I'd do that for you...

I did enough to show you that I was willing to give and sacrafice
I was the one who was lifting you up
when you thought you had enough.
when I get close you turn away, nothing that I can do or say

... If you did care, you wouldn't make me feel like this ...