Today was my buddy Jennay's birthday! I'm not sure if she was all that happy but I hope she was. A couple of us planned out this surprise party at the VERY LAST minute. haha I have to say that it turned out well. Paulie and I took her out while a couple of people broke into her house and decorated it. I have to say it was really nice for 2 rolls of streamers and some balloons.

I guess that everything was good before I saw that one person. When I saw them, everything just came crashing down. I tried not to let it get to me, I didnt think about it when me and Paulie took Jenny out for some ice cream and some walking, but when I got up stairs.. i just didnt want to be there anymore, but I stayed for jenny. I tried to leave, I made this excuese that I had to turn off the fax machine because I wouldnt be able to get any calls and stuff, but my friend told me to stay so I did and he drove me home with everyone else. I didnt look or speak to that person. Things that came out of that person's mouth just pissed me off. Sometimes I just want everything to go away and I want to just start a new life. I dont care if I'm alone or however how ever long it takes me to make new friends, better friends but I'm willing to take that chance. I wish I could see things in their eyes so I can see if I'm doing the right thing. I dont want to be making decisions because of what I'm seeing, but I should be doing things for me and not for other people. I wonder if this person notices our deteriorating friendship. I wonder if anyone else notices it. I doubt they do.. sometimes I wonder if people are living in this dream world they created, where everything is perfect... I guess I'm the only one that is living in reality...

What song fits my mood:
Splendor - I Think God Can Explain

"There's a lot of things I understand. And there's a lot of things that I don't want to know... It's alright, I'm OK. I think God can explain. I'm relieved I'm relaxed. I'll get over it yet..."

... shall i hold my breath until you notice what your doing to me? ...



Which car are you?